February 11, 2015

The conversations I had, the words I heard

(Hình lấy trên net) 

All with my colleagues, summer 2014

“Điều duy nhất khiến tôi có thể đi tiếp là niềm đam mê dành cho khoa học. Trong khi tất cả bạn bè đều có việc làm ổn định, tài chính vững vàng, dần dần vươn đến thế giới của quyền lực và danh vọng, tôi phải đối mặt với những gì? Hợp đồng ngắn hạn từng năm, cuộc sống chắp vá tạm bợ ở nhiều nơi, còn gia đình và con nhỏ phụ thuộc vào bản thân. Nhưng tôi chấp nhận, vì đó là cái giá phải trả khi một người quyết định đi theo con đường riêng, được làm những gì mình đam mê, được khám phá ngưỡng cửa giới hạn trong sự hiểu biết của con người. Nhưng sự ra đi của Sasai-san làm tôi nhận ra ngay cả niềm tin, ngay cả đam mê, cũng không thể cứu vãn mọi thứ. Hoang mang và nghi ngờ bắt đầu bao trùm tâm trý tôi. Đó là cảm giác tuyệt vọng khi bất chợt nhận ra có thể mình cũng tiến quá gần đến giới hạn của bản thân.”


***

「I wasn't the person who made the first move. After a while, exactly when I started to have feelings for that person, I was dropped. Very abruptly.」

「So what does this teach you?」

「I don’t know. Bad timing maybe?」

「Wrong. It’s about to teach yourself how to love someone. Think about it, it’s how marriage works. If you can’t teach yourself how to love someone, how can you stick to one person for like 60 years. Won’t you get bored? And it’s not about timing either. Time will never be on your side, so you can’t just wait and see until a right time arrives. There will be never a right time unless you know how to teach yourself to make time “right” from the beginning.」

「What should I do now?」

「I don’t know. I can’t find the answer for you. You have to figure out what you really want. No one can ever do it for you.」

***

「I failed the entrance examination of the University of Tokyo 3 times before I was admitted.」

「Did you apply to other schools?」

「No, the University of Tokyo was the only school I wanted to go ever since elementary school」

「Three years working on something that might have never come. What do you do when you want to give up? How do you deal with frustration?」

「I drink beer. Alcohol helps a lot. And I go swimming」

***

「I feel like people here are not interested in developing a relationship. All they want is to have fun. All they think that matters in a relationship is the amount of time you spend together. But that’s not the whole story.」

「What else matters?」

「Understanding. In order to develop a relationship, you have to understand each other, not just about what they like and not. You have to know what they want to do, what motivates them, what they think, how they become happy and sad. But how are you be able to do that in a country where no one will actually be willing to talk to you about that?」

***

「Tell me about your typical day.」

「I wake up around 4:30AM, then I run or study till my daughter wakes up at 6:00AM. Then I make breakfast and we eat together. After that, I take her to school and go to my lab. I pick her up from school around 7:00PM. We go home, have dinner. I play with her, and then put her to sleep around 8:00PM. I go to sleep around 10:00OPM」

「To scientists, research is not just a job, it consumes our lives! How do you find the balance between being a dad and being a scientist?」

「I set a time limit for everything I do. When I am in my lab, I tell myself that I need to finish my experiments during a specific amount of time, for example, I tell myself I need to finish everything by 7PM, or else I wouldn't be able to pick up my daughter from school. The ability to focus and follow a routine makes everything easier.」

***


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